the road not taken

Avengers - Funny Quotes

• Tony Stark: Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
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• Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
• Tony Stark: Funny things are.
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• Nick Fury: It's called the Avengers Initiative.
• Tony Stark: I thought I didn't qualify. I was considered, what was it... volatile, self-centred, and I don't play well with others.
• Pepper Potts: I knew that.
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• Tony Stark: Falling in line's not really my style.
• Steve Rogers: You're all about style, aren't you?
• Thor: You people are so petty, and tiny.
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• Natasha Romanoff: [on the phone, tied to a chair] Give me a minute...
• [starts beating up people]
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• Steve Rogers: Hulk? Smash.
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• Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!
• Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!
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• Bruce Banner: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
• Thor: Have a care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother.
• Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.
• Thor: He's adopted.
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• Loki: I have an army.
• Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
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• Natasha Romanoff: [discussing attacking Loki] But he's a god!
• Steve Rogers: Ma'am, there's only one God, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that.
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• Natasha Romanoff: This is the Tesseract. It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet.
• Bruce Banner: What does Fury want me to do, swallow it?
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• Tony Stark: I thought we were having a moment.
• Pepper Potts: I was having twelve percent of a moment.
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• Agent Phil Coulson: I gotta say, it's an honour to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was, I was present while you were unconscious, from the ice. You know it's really just a, just a huge honour to have you on board.
• Steve Rogers: Well I hope I'm the man for the job.
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• Tony Stark: [to Captain America] You might have missed a couple things, y'know, doing time as a Capsicle.
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• Tony Stark: [to Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?
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• Maria Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?
• Tony Stark: Last night.
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• Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?
• Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
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• Security Guard: Are you an alien?
• Bruce Banner: What?
• Security Guard: From outer space, an alien.
• Bruce Banner: No.
• Security Guard: Well then son, you've got a condition.
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• World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
• Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
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• Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.
• Steve Rogers: We won.
• Tony Stark: All right, hey! All right good job guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow; let's just take a day.
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• Thor: We on Asgard pretend that we are more advanced, but we, we come here battling like Bilgesnipe.
• Agent Phil Coulson: Like what?
• Thor: The Bilgesnipe, you know; huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?
• Agent Phil Coulson: Don't think so.
• Thor: They are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path.
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• Tony Stark: [chased by a Leviathan] Guys, I'm bringing the party to you!
• [he and the Leviathan break out of a building and speed away toward the rest of the Avengers]
• Natasha Romanoff: I don't see how that's a party.
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• Thor: I have unfinished business with Loki.
• Clint Barton: Yeah? Get in line.
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• Tony Stark: What else you got?
• Clint Barton: Well, Thor's taking on a squadron on Sixth.
• Tony Stark: And he didn't invite me...
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• Loki: [Touches his Tesseract staff to Stark, which only taps against Stark's arc reactor with no effect] That usually works...
• Tony Stark: Yeah, sometimes it has complications.
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• Loki: I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose.
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• Thor: You have no idea who you are dealing with!
• Tony Stark: Shakespeare in the park?
• [Looks around for a moment, then resumes]
• Tony Stark: Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?
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• Tony Stark: Better clench up, Legolas.